I’ve never been happier to see a year end, but 2020 certainly deserves a new edition of “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas,” which was written by Clement Clarke Moore and originally titled “A Visit from St. Nicholas.”

Happy and safe holidays to you!

’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through South County,

Those without COVID were counting their bounty.

Children handed in their homework, all-virtual too

In hopes that this “red zone” will soon go blue.

All South Countians nestle at home in their beds,

While post-pandemic visions danced in their heads;

And Trakas in his kerchief, and Page in his cap

Had just logged off Zoom for a long winter’s nap,

When out in the mailbox there arose such a clatter

Everyone raced to read the Call to see what was the matter!

The vaccine in the arms of the Mercy South nurses,

Gives hope to conquer COVID and its curses.

Government budgets passed with not as much slash

But bad news, everyone still has to wear masks.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But the old Loop Trolley and no tiny reindeer (they’re on quarantine).

With a little old driver keeping social distance,

Knowing he was St. Nick overcame any resistance.

Reindeer replacements tweeted and Zoomed and he called them by name:

“Now, Gaines! now, Lake! now Fribis and Mabie! On, Clancy! on, Fitch! on Harder and Walton Gray! On, Thuston! on, Simpson! on Dunaway and Days!”

To the patio at Bartolino’s, to the now-deserted mall,

Now dash away, dash away, dash away all! …

So past the 9th floor the reindeer they flew

Piled that sleigh full of CARES Act funds, and police raises too

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on Mehlville’s new roofs

The prancing and pawing of all these little hoofs.

But did you hear that? Oh no, they’re on mute.

Is their video buffering? This is no longer cute.

IT says try FaceTime, as Santa’s 2020 workshop is all-work from home,

The elves had an outbreak, now it’s a no-COVID zone.

But the work still got done and life continues on,

Although many we loved are very sadly gone.

Down to the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound,

And what a different world he found:

Are milk and cookies indoor dining?

What’s 2020’s silver lining?

The beard on his chin was as white as the snow,

But it’s covered with a mask so you would never know.

He filled all the stockings, little dolls and little tanks,

As he rose from the chimney, children already TikTok-ed their thanks.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And down Lindbergh they flew now they had their dismissal.

But I heard him exclaim, before the Telegraph red light,

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!