To the editor:

The other day, I heard a little bit of news that I couldn’t believe. Our “felon in chief,” Donald, is planning to cut Senator Mark Kelly’s military pension. After checking, I found that this was true. I first thought, well that is not legal, and then remembered who I was talking about. A convicted felon 34 times over is probably not worried about the law at this point. 

Anyway, I sort of feel bad for Mark, and came up with some ways we all could help him out. I was thinking about all of Donald’s billionaire buddies; maybe we could spend one dollar less on Amazon and send that dollar to Mark Kelly. Jeff Bezos will not miss it. Or maybe spend a little less time on Facebook, and send the free advertising money to Mark Kelly. Maybe we could ask our Medicare Advantage plan insurers to send just one dollar to Mark, out of the billions they have scammed the government out of, in our names. Or maybe Elon could find some waste in SpaceX, and they could charge the government a little less per flight, and we could send that money. 

If only a few of these ideas work and we all pitch in, I am sure we could secure Mark’s retirement. After all, Mark served in the Navy for 25 years, flew 39 combat missions, spent 54 days, two hours and four minutes in space for NASA and was elected senator of Arizona. Donald was never in the military, that’s for losers. Thanks for listening to a good old Missouri boy.

Mark Snider

Oakville