To the editor:
Stop it already. Ever since Shirley Preuss wrote her version of the Holy Bible, the letters page has turned into a religious quest.
And before any more Bible thumpers join in denouncing me as an atheistic SOB, let me first set the record straight.
I was raised by my Grandma, a stout Catholic, whose only apparent goal in life was to see me installed as the next Pope. I spent so much time in church, that due to lack of sunshine, the other kids called me “Whitey.” I breathed in so much incense I became asthmatic. In my early 20s, due to hours and hours of kneeling, I had to have both knees replaced. I ate so many Com-munion wafers, I became what is now termed grossly obese.
So as you can see, I am not an atheist. As a matter of fact, had it not been for me discovering girls, I would have become a saint. It’s just that I would like to see the Call’s letter section return to its original purpose and not a religious forum.